If you didnt already think japan is an amazing place, remember thats where shohei ohtani is from

Shohei Ohtani has signed with my Los Angeles Dodgers. Let me use once more one of the most tired and cliche conceptual tropes, hopefully to expire the long-overused iceberg theory model; above the surface, i am showing elation, but below the surface, most of me wallows in apprehension and pessimism about what has been arguably the best sports offseason of my life. Like icebergs in nature, my iceberg is my nature. The Dodgers just signed quite possibly the best baseball player to ever live and despite the vaunted facade of my Twitter/X posts, I've never been more nervous about a season of baseball. This $700M contract is EXACTLY what i and every other Dodgers fan hung our blue hats on last season. Andrew Friedman has restored order to the baseball world. Every other front office in baseball, hide your wives and daughters because what Friedman wants, Friedman gets.

The metamorphasis of Corey Seager was tough to watch, but ultimately a blessing in disguise - if the Diamondbacks won the World Series I might have taken my own life right after the final out.

There's five dudes in Texas with deep-rooted childhood sexual trauma that shoot trickshots for a living that have sent a cease-and-desist to Shohei Ohtani for trademark violations on the grounds that he is alive. If you don't get one you need to either smoke more weed or less.

Here's a little Shohei (middle):

Ohtani was born in and grew up in the town of Mizusawa (now part of Ōshū)), in the northern region of Honshu, Japan's largest and most populous island.

Before I show you some photos of Oshu, let us be reminded of how pristine 99.9% of Japan is. Yes, these are first returns on a google so they're bound to be the cream-of-the-crop aesthetic, but the fact remains that Japan is fucking spotless. Just don't look up Hitochiomiya.

When Shohei Ohtani was in high school, he was, obviously, a stud. Although Shohei had a roster spot on any of the gargantuan baseball schools in Osaka or Tokyo, he opted to stay local and play for his hometown school.

Hanamaki Higashi High School

Alright alright alright so I was just searching online for a photo of Hanamaki Higashi's baseball field and stumbled upon this photo of Shohei Ohtani in high school ball:

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE, I need that jersey. I need a Shohei Ohtani high school baseball jersey. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I am nervous. But here's to greener pastures. Baseball is amazing and I can't wait for it to be back.