Ranking NFL Uniforms from Worst to Best

Ever since I was a budding sports fan as a young boy, I've held a special interest in team uniforms. I cannot say why or what steered my interest toward sports as a kid; the need to fit into a social sphere of some kind, and sports at recess seemed like a better option over role-playing as cartoon characters? Perhaps my dopamine receptors were especially receptive to succeeding in physical movements? Or maybe it was even the freedom to be solely responsible for my success or failure in a life event at a young age, something unique to children.

It was probably a beautiful culmination of everything. One thing I'm 100% about is that the bright, dazzling uniform color schemes and designs will NEVER deter a young kid from liking sports. The first sport I really latched onto was football, NFL to be specific. My Dad was a big Vikings fan, and despite living 2,000 miles from their TV market, I feel like we watched an absurd amount of Culpepper/Moss era Minnesota Vikings games together on our local affiliate FOX station. Even from our 19" Montgomery-Ward analog TV set, the colors popped like cellophane flowers in a Beatles trip. After watching enough, I decided I liked the St. Louis Rams. Maybe it was the observably outstanding offensive output that drew me in to like that team, but maybe just maybe that gold trim on their unis popped extra special through 120p TV reception.

I'm a baseball guy through and through, there's no way around it, and while baseball jerseys are now and forever will be the best looking jersey for fans (guys and gals) to rock, I'm not sure that watching two baseball teams wearing white and gray on our shitty TV would've had a remotely similar aesthetic appeal to me as the different colorations I absorbed during halftime highlights of NFL games did. As far as NBA goes, I didn't start watching basketball for at least a year or two after I had been watching NFL and MLB, although it's worth noting that 2000 - 2006-ish NBA uniforms mark the best period of sports uniforms ever. The current state of NBA uniforms is a disaster, however, and I wouldn't wish the task of ranking today's NBA kits on my worst enemy...

Alright here's my list of NFL uniforms ranked from worst to best:

32. Tennessee Titans

When the Titans redesigned their uniforms ahead of the 2018 season, I was somewhat surprised. I always thought the McNair-era Titans unis weren't tremendous, but very appropriate for what a team called the Titans should look like. For their current unis, I don't like how the shoulders and helmet stripe are comprised of two close but different shades of grey. The color scheme works, however the Titans uniforms just don't seem like that of a professional football team.

31. Arizona Cardinals

Not too much to say for these outdated threads other than they look like a uniform created on Madden 03 on a PS2. The one shining light is the new black helmets they debuted in 2022; the red undertint on those bad boys should survive through the team's next redesign.

30. Carolina Panthers

No justification needed.

29. Atlanta Falcons

If those videos on social media of kids in youth sports reenacting the mannerisms of pro athletes was an NFL uniform. The numbers look like they were designed by someone who's cross-eyed.

28. Seattle Seahawks

I remember back when the NFL switched from Reebok to Nike (crazy to think that Reebok was the official provider of anything sports related), which coincided nearly simultaneously with the Seahawks revealing these uniforms. Back in 2012(?) when these were released, they were easily a Top-3 uniform in the league, a perfect representation of how most new uniform designs have a shelf life no matter how hot they are at first.

27. Los Angeles Rams

In contrast to the Seahawks uniforms, the Rams new look has followed what appears like an opposite trajectory. Initially the Rams got clowned for the mood ring numbers on their new jerseys, but I think winning Super Bowl 56 tricked a lot of fans (myself included) into forgetting about color-changing numbers and white away unis that are somehow actually grey.

26. Houston Texans

Meh 👎👎

25. Denver Broncos

I feel like I'm not particularly qualified to comment on the Broncos jerseys; there's something inside of me, fused deep in the marrow of my bones that fuels an inherent - and frankly irrational - hate for everything Denver Broncos. My hypothesis is that it comes from the lighting of the games at Mile High when they're on TV. Always a low, intrusive sunlight over an underirrigated field. I wouldn't blame anyone for putting these in their Top 10.

24. Las Vegas Raiders

They look like uniforms on a black and white television that actually have colors, we just can't see them.

23. New York Giants

The New York football Giants occasionally rock their throwback unis, which are leaps and bounds better than their conventional home/aways. I get that they need to apply red digits to their away uniforms since the Cowboys are weird and like wearing their white jerseys so much, however it's not like the Giants couldn't figure something else out that would work the same but also look better.

22. Indianapolis Colts

Colts are the blue team in any movie that couldn't budget for using team names of actual NFL teams.

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

One misconception about the Bucs is that their brand will be better off if they bring back the "Creamsicle" orange uniforms that the franchise sported from 1976-96. Count on central coastal Florida football fans to push for a franchise to bring back what is arguably the least successful sports uniform, of any sport in a 20-year period. These Bucs jerseys are fine, but that's all. Anything is better than the former alarm clock jerseys.

20. New Orleans Saints

While I really don't enjoy the Saints color scheme - I think it's too often that teams that wear gold / silver / white and black get tagged with maintaining a "classic" look, when really it's just an excuse to sit in your own shit and say since it's been there so long it's a classic.

19. Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins did themselves a massive favor at their conception point when the organization decided the team's colors would be Aqua and Orange; elite, elite, elite color scheme, and ultra appropriate for a team from Miami, FL (extra credit for sports franchises that wear colors relevant to their city). Despite the glorious color scheme, the Dolphins' jersey design leaves a lot to be desired.

18. Dallas Cowboys

There's a time in my life when I would've told you the Cowboys look like a Walmart sports team and an absolute joke with that clip art star on their helmets. And to be honest, I'm not sure why I don't still hold that same perspective. The Cowboys' navy blue tops are really solid to me, but because they stick to the white tops so often, I believe that's the only reason I think that about the navy tops at all. I could make the joke that Cowboys fans are so dimwitted that if their team wore more than one jersey color, it would be too complicated for people to follow, but I won't make that joke.

17. New England Patriots

The Pats branding heads had a helluva decision to make when Tom Brady headed south in 2020. Do they stay with what had become arguably the most recognizable NFL jersey (largely because of Brady) in the world for the last 20 years? or is it better to pivot away from what has been and instead dive headfirst into the impending post-Brady era in a bold way? Frankly, I think the Patriots did the right thing in exercising their long-withheld right to come out with a new look after carrying out the most dominant 20-year stretch in modern American sports.